seize the day.
by LxGMoriartyUK
Summary: J/A fic. For all those shippers out there who have been begging for this. Well here ya go, schmaltzyness and all. Although not as gooey as some would like probably....


Sieze the Day. By Tav.  
  
  
This is for all the shippyshippyshippyshippers out there who are begging me to not kill off any of my characters in my other current fic.  
  
  
If you want it-Email me! just tell me where, so I can pop round for tea and scones.  
  
  
Disclaimer- Farscape is owned by Henson and co. I am just borrowing them for a little bit. Besides, I don't have any money anyway.  
  
  
  
  
  
Aeryn gazed out of the viewport at the star system ahead. It was a river of rich light and rainbow colours, and was to her mind one of the most beautiful scenes you could find. John had become extremely excited at the sight of this system on command's virtual starchart. This was a region familiar to Crichton. It was as he had called it, 'the milky way'. He said he was not far off from his home, that it was in that soup of stars and gas clouds.  
  
She sighed inwardly, wondering what lay ahead, the future uncertain to her. If John was leaving soon, that would leave her, D'argo and Chiana on board and she supposed, the Royal Slug. Zhaan had left a few monens ago, after finding a planet that was populated by exiled Delvians, and as she knew she would never get home, she wanted to stay. Although they had not got on all the time, Aeryn missed Zhaan. She had been a foil for the rest of the crew, and at times the most calming influence. These days D'argo and Chiana were spending most of their time having sex, which would leave her with John, who it seemed, was soon to leave as well. In the end she thought, I don't want John to go. Every time I try to explain how I feel, I freeze up and we end our conversations fighting. I don't want to be alone.  
  
John appeared, and ambled over to where she stood. He gently placed a hand on her right shoulder. Casually leaning over, he smelled her hair. He murmured in her ear,   
  
"Penny for them?"  
  
She turned and looked at him quizzically. "What?" Her brow furrowed, trying to comprehend his strange phrase.  
  
"It's a saying. It means, 'what are you thinking?'"  
  
"So why can't you say that? Why are Human phrases so strange?"  
  
He shrugged, still looking straight ahead at the view outside, "Well? What are you thinking?"  
  
Aeryn briefly closed her eyes. I don't want to lose you, not now. Her eyes opened again. "Nothing, I was just thinking about Zhaan." she lied. She turned round to look at him, and as she looked, her head cocked at an angle as if seeing him for the first time.   
  
"Don't you feel it? The place seems emptier now she's gone. We're getting smaller as a crew. Everyone is starting to leave."   
  
Even you.  
  
"Hey, what's brought all this on?" he spun her round and looked into her eyes, "I'm not going anywhere"   
  
"I never said..."   
  
"You didn't need to."  
  
Aeryn turned back to the view and tried to concentrate on that instead of John's face.   
  
"How do you know if you are or not? The future's not written. You will be leaving soon, you're so close to returning home"  
  
John shook his head, Aeryn was being negative again.   
  
"Aeryn I......"  
  
"Look save it, we have said all we will ever need to say on the subject." she snapped, and spun on her heel, exiting command.  
  
John shook his head, he ran his fingers through his hair, and then scrubbed his face as if to rub away his discomfort.  
  
"You know what my advice would be?" said a voice from behind him.  
  
He turned and saw Chiana leaning against the doorway of command. She languidly walked over to where John was and looked at him directly. "You need to tell her how you feel, you need to spell it out and leave no questions unanswered." she paused slightly, "Are, are you leaving us?" her voice quavered at the end of the question.  
  
John pursed his lips, and looked straight at Chiana. " Look, I am not going anywhere and as for Sunshine, well I have said what I feel, but she doesn't seem to believe me, she still thinks I would walk away from her, despite what we have gone through to get this far." He rubbed his eyes before continuing, "She does not want to accept anything like a commitment, she does not want to believe that someone would want to emotionally invest themselves in her. She fears what will happen, she seems to think that this will end up the same as her last..... like Velorek, the guy in the peacekeeper vid, y'know, the one who was helping to replace Pilot into Moya."  
  
Chiana was silent for a while. she seemed to take a few moments to realise who they were talking about.  
  
"Ohhhh, you mean that guy in the vid that made Pilot go all mad. You mean Aeryn and him were....... really? Now it makes sense. Wait a moment, she turned him in didn't she? Even though they..........." she trailed off. It made sense now. She didn't want to betray John.  
  
"Look...John,that was then, things are way way different now I mean, frell, we are all in a different place, I was in hiding, on the run, D'argo, Zhaan and Rygel were in chains, Aeryn was a Peacekeeper and you were, well, doing whatever it is you did back home."  
  
"But Chi, I have said what I feel, and all I get is denial."  
  
Chiana sighed and stood directly in front of John. She raised herself on tiptoes to try and look John in the eyes.  
  
"Have you said it like this... 'Aeryn, I love you, you mean the world to me, my life would be incomplete without you by my side....be mine.'" breathed Chiana. Who had moved within inches of John's face, lips tantalizingly close to his own, her eyes never straying from his own.  
  
John blinked, then licked his lips. He looked around the room, then back at Chiana.  
  
"I, well... you said it so, so.... Look, it doesn't matter HOW I say it!, she will not accept it, not yet anyway, she cannot handle it."  
  
"Who are you to say she cannot?"  
  
"I. Well, frell Chi, when did you get so wise in all this?"  
  
"D'argo has made me learn in a hurry." Said Chiana wryly, eyes twinkling with amusement.  
  
"Riiiight. D'argo. I see. Look, I'm ,um... going to get something to eat, want anything?!  
  
Chiana shook her head. "No, I'm off to the terrace, for a bit of quiet. Things have been a bit Fahrbot round here."  
  
"Yeah, I agree there, I don't think I've relaxed since we left the last commerce planet."  
  
"Well, if you need to relax, you should tell Aeryn straight, and then go frell somewhere for a weeken or two."said Chiana impishly.  
  
"Chiana!" exclaimed John, rather mortified at her frankness.  
  
"Oh come on old man, you know I'm right" she smiled, and walked off in the direction of the terrace.  
  
John stood for a microt, taking a deep breath. I can do this, he thought. Hell, why does she make me feel like I'm 15 years old and asking Lisa McConnell out for a first date? Goddamn, I nearly got married for frell's sake, this should be easy.  
Resolved, John proceeded to find Aeryn. "Pilot?"  
  
"Yes commander?"  
  
"Where is Aeryn right now?"   
  
"She is in her quarters, ....do you want me to tell her you wish to speak with her?"  
  
"Thanks Pilot, but no, I need to talk to her alone."  
  
"Commander?"  
  
"Yes Pilot?"  
  
"Good luck."  
  
John smiled to himself. It seemed everyone on this tub* knew about his feelings except the one person that should. He walked briskly to Aeryn's quarters when he stopped a few metras from her door. He rolled his neck, allieviating the stiffness and tension that had built up in the last couple of arns. He cleared his throat and walked the last few metras to her door. He knocked at the door and tentatively entered the room. Aeryn was sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at the vial of hair scent that Zhaan had given her a few monens ago. She looked up at John and stood, as if to leave the room.   
  
"Aeryn. We need to talk"  
  
She looked at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears. She shook her head angrily.  
  
"Talk? .....Talk? Crichton, all you do is talk. And where has that frelling got us? Nowhere. You are a few solar days from arriving in your home system, and you want to talk some more."   
  
John sighed loudly, this was not going the way he had envisaged. He thought hard, then decided. Time for a change in tactic. Fourth down, don't drop the ball Johnnyboy. He moved to Aeryn at the edge of the bed and took her by the shoulders making sure not to seem rough, as he did not want to be pantak jabbed and totally ruin everything.   
  
"I was talking with Chi... and before you interrupt, I know it is none of her business but she has a good heart". Aeryn began to argue again, John placed a finger over her lips, resulting in a surprised look on her face, mild annoyance flashing in her eyes. He continued, "I was going to say something to you which Chi had suggested, but I have changed my mind. I'll get straight to the point. Aeryn. I love you. Me. I love ..You. If you want me to I will tell Moya to turn round and starburst in the other direction I will. Even if I reach home, it will only be for a visit. How can you expect me to leave you now? After all we have gone through, do you think I would just give it all up, do you think I could?" he stopped and looked at her, trying to gauge a reaction.   
  
He removed his finger slowly and waited for her response. But none came. She looked at him with a mixture of happiness and remorse. He pulled her to him and kissed her. Aeryn's surprised look faded quickly as she sank into his arms. They broke apart after several microts, Aeryn sat down on the edge of the bed. She sighed, then looked back to John who hadn't moved.   
  
"John. I am so sorry. I....I'm ......"  
  
"What? Aeryn tell me. It makes things so much easier. Trust me."  
  
John kneeled in front of Aeryn and looked into her eyes. He brushed a strand of hair away from her cheek, and held it there, caressing her face. She put a hand on his, and smiled.   
  
"I'm scared." replied Aeryn,  
  
John contemplated this, then softly said, "of what? Us?"  
  
"Emotions. They make me feel weak. I feel out of control. I'm afraid of what I would do if I let go"  
  
John arched an eyebrow. "what would happen?"  
  
"Oh nothing much," she smiled, "I would probably frell you into the next weeken"  
  
"You think?" laughed John.  
  
"No......I know"  
  
"Show me" John breathed.  
  
  
  
  
The end?  
  
More???   
  
  



End file.
